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Photo reblogged from Things I like with 350 notes
“Yes. I have a wig for every single person in the office. You never know when you’re going to need to bear a passing resemblance to someone.”
(Source: garlichpress)
Quote with 27 notes
Do I really wanna turn out like Gabe? 26. Single. Tied to my desk. No life no family. I want to have been married by the time I would’ve turned thirty. That’s just… that’s just depressing.
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![jackiegarlich:
Michael Scott: “I don’t know you. But I need to know you in order to sell to you. That is why I have asked you to go around and tell me your names. I have an amazing mnemonic device by which I have now memorized all of your names.” [pointing to people]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l00mi31cxa1qzp9aeo1_500.jpg)
Michael Scott: “I don’t know you. But I need to know you in order to sell to you. That is why I have asked you to go around and tell me your names. I have an amazing mnemonic device by which I have now memorized all of your names.” [pointing to people]
Quote with 52 notes
Michael Scott: Dwight?
Dwight Shrute: Sorry, Michael, I’ve got calls to make.
Michael Scott: I would like your undivided attention please.
Dwight Shrute: [squarely] You couldn’t handle my undivided attention.
Photo reblogged from This is how it is! with 210 notes
via redheadgazelle:dundermifflinite:bigtunahalpert:(via fuckyeahjohnkrasinski)
Quote with 81 notes
People are starting to notice how terrible Jim is. It’s great. Eventually they’ll rise up and revolt. My only hope is they do it sooner rather than later. If people here were our founding fathers the Revolutionary War would’ve been delayed ten years. Because Stanley Washington was napping. And Phyllis Hancock was still signing the Declaration. And Kevin Jefferson was distracted by a butterfly.
Quote with 37 notes
Dwight Schrute: I stole the guest list from Jim’s desk. And I search engined every female on both sides of the family.
Michael Scott: Get out of here. Oh. My. God.
Dwight Schrute: For instance, Pam’s cousin… Jocelyn Webster [holds up Facebook profile printout]
Michael Scott: There’s a name!
Dwight Schrute: Two years ago, she was selling a mountain bike.
Michael Scott: Oh, well, tell me about Jocelyn. What’s she like?
Dwight Schrute: She’s really into mountain biking but not so much lately.
Michael Scott: Ok…
Dwight Schrute: She had a couple hundred dollars to spend. I mean, if she was able to sell her bike.
Michael Scott: Is that all you have on her?
Dwight Schrute: Well this isn’t in fact her, because it’s a very common name.
Michael Scott: Ok. You’re an idiot.
Quote with 26 notes
How do you tell someone it’s over? You send them a notarized letter, right? Well what if the recipient is your notary?
Quote reblogged from Things I like with 26 notes
Here’s the thing. When a company screws up, best thing to do is call a press conference. Alert the media and then you control the story. Wait for them to find out, and the story controls you. That’s what happened to O.J.
Quote reblogged from A Me Grows in Brooklyn with 140 notes
When I discovered YouTube, I didn’t work for five days. I did nothing. I watched Cookie Monster sing Chocolate Rain about a thousand times.
Quote reblogged from Things I like with 102 notes
What is it like being single? I like it! I like starting each day with a sense of possibility. And I’m optimistic, because everyday I get a little more desperate. And desperate situations yield the quickest results.
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