December 2010
1 post
April 2010
1 post
“Do I really wanna turn out like Gabe? 26. Single. Tied to my desk. No life...”
– Michael Scott
March 2010
2 posts
“Michael Scott: Dwight?
Dwight Shrute: Sorry, Michael, I’ve got calls to...”
February 2010
4 posts
“Scissor me!”
– Michael Scott (via jackiegarlich)
“People are starting to notice how terrible Jim is. It’s great. Eventually...”
– Dwight Schrute
January 2010
3 posts
“Dwight Schrute: I stole the guest list from Jim’s desk. And I search...”
“How do you tell someone it’s over? You send them a notarized letter,...”
– Angela
“Here’s the thing. When a company screws up, best thing to do is call a press...”
– Michael Scott
December 2009
8 posts
“When I discovered YouTube, I didn’t work for five days. I did nothing. I watched...”
– Michael Scott (via jackiegarlich) (via amegrowsinbrooklyn)
“What is it like being single? I like it! I like starting each day with a sense...”
– Michael Scott (via jackiegarlich)
“Ho ho ho! Why pay more to sit next to old Tranny Claus over there, when you can...”
– Michael Scott (via jackiegarlich) (via haleystumble)
“Jim: You can’t yell out “I need this, I need this” as you pin down an employee...”
– via
“Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding.”
– Andy Bernard
(via jackiegarlich)
(via haleystumble)
“Zyan: I’m Zyan. I’m Mikyla’s younger brother.
Michael Scott: Well Zyan I am...”
– (via jackiegarlich)
“I just—I fell in love with these kids. And I didn’t want to see them fall victim...”
– Michael Scott (via)
November 2009
17 posts
“So, yesterday Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot. Which is...”
– Jim Halpert (via jackiegarlich)
“Dwight Schrute: Michael, what is the meaning of this email that everyone got?
...”
– The Office, Episode: “Murder” (via jackiegarlich)
“I’m a little worried that I may have asked out Naughty Nelly instead of Erin....”
– Andrew Bernard (via jackiegarlich)
“I’ve always been the guy who can rally other people to rebel. In high school, I...”
– Andrew Bernard (via jackiegarlich)(via withfingerscrossedd)
“Michael Scott: [holding up Pam’s ultrasound] That, is the inside of your...”
“What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I went— I once went...”
– Michael Scott, The Office: Weight Loss episode (via jackiegarlich)
“Andy: No. I really Schruted it.
Michael Scott: What?
Andy: Schruted it....”
– The Office.
I really Schruted it today.
(via jackiegarlich)
“You give me a gift? Bam! Thank You note. You invite me somewhere? Pow! ...”
– Andy
“Hey everybody, he’s not in the men’s room. Although the seat was warm, so we may...”
– Meredith, The Office (via jackiegarlich)
“Truthfully, it wasn’t the way he fell in, it was… how long it took him to get...”
– Jim Halpert (via jackiegarlich)
October 2009
19 posts
“I don’t need to be friends with Pam. I have plenty of female friends. My mom....”
– Michael Scott
(via jackiegarlich)
(via savingsmiles)
jackiegarlich:
Hunter’s Song (from the Office)...
“You know, I really would’ve appreciated a heads up that you were into dating...”
– Dwight Schrute (via jackiegarlich)
“Kevin: I wouldn’t last in jail, Oscar, I’m not like you.
Oscar: What’s that...”
– (via jackiegarlich)
“Jim’s gone on his honeymoon. So I started borrowing his office, to fart...”
– Kevin
“Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon, so there’s not the usual balance between...”
– Oscar (via jackiegarlich) (via furrowedbrow)
“I am actually great with old women. I n fact, for the longest time my best...”
– Michael Scott
The office is tonight!
(via jackiegarlich)
“Toby: Hey Michael, I have an extra twin bed if you want.
Michael Scott: You...”
jackiegarlich:
Oscar: What are you doing?
Kevin: I’m trying to decide if I have time to pee.
Oscar: How long do you take to pee?
Kevin: The peeing is fast, Oscar. It’s getting my tie back on.
-The Office
“If somebody doesn’t tell me I’m going to start screaming.”
– Michael Scott (via jackiegarlich)