Quote with 52 notes
Andy: Let me give you a scenario. I’m at like a beach cabana, and Brad Pitt approaches. Tries to lean in and kiss me. I would definitely resist, like at first. But if he was persistent, I might give in a little bit just to see what it felt like. Would I push him away? How hard? Like, what if he’s really aggressive?
Oscar: If you resisted Brad Pitt a little bit he would still.. need to get to you?
Andy: This is not real Brad Pitt, this is like, in my—this is my fantasy. Or not a fantasy it’s like what I’m—it’s just a scenario.
Oscar: Wow I—I wish I could help you. I don’t—you might be gay, you might be gay.
[cut to talking head]
Oscar: What exactly is my responsibility here? To comfort insecure heterosexual men? That can’t possibly fall to me.
Quote with 16 notes
Erin: Kelly has an eating disorder?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Erin: She always eats my lunch.
Michael Scott: Anorexia. She’s an anorexitic.
Erin: We should do something.
Michael Scott: Nothing can be done. We just have to tell everybody and hope for the best I guess.
Quote reblogged from Grace in Small Things with 169 notes
Man, I know how you feel—third wheel. I have been the third wheel so many times in my life…my mom told me something once that made me feel a lot better. She said the third wheel is what makes it a tricycle.
Photo with 25 notes
Guess what I just bought!!!!
Update: It’s on sale at Best Buy for $31.99
Quote with 41 notes
Angela: [yelling at Kevin] Listen, Dummy! It’s not that hard! All you have to do is take the numbers from the sales report and type them into a master spreadsheet. A GD monkey could do it. I do not understand why you can’t do it.
Holly: No! You DO NOT talk to him like that.
Angela: But he’s an idiot.
Holly: He is not an idiot—
Kevin: Thank you, Holly.
Holly: —he is mentally challenged. But he’s doing a super job here.
Kevin: Wait back up. Do you think that I’m retarded?
Quote with 20 notes
Incest is bad; racism is bad. …the more we can encourage interracial dating as a society, the further away we get from incest. Literally.
Quote with 13 notes
Feel what it’s like to be in someone else’s skin. What does it feel like to be a different race? It feels pretty bad, doesn’t it?
Photo reblogged from naturally. with 1,233 notes
Michael: Jim, you’re 6’11 and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Boom, roasted. Dwight, you’re a kiss-ass. Boom, roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom, roasted. Meredith, you’ve slept with so many guys you’re starting to look like one. Boom, roasted. Kevin, I can’t decide between a fat joke or a dumb joke. Boom, roasted. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom, roasted. Angela, where’s Angela? Whoa, there you are. I didn’t see you there behind that grain of rice. Boom, roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom, roasted. Oscar, you’re gay. Boom, roasted. Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck. And you’re gayer than Oscar. Boom, roasted.
Photo with 17 notes
Quote with 10 notes
Michael Scott: Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime, and you could tell me… how you do that to another dude.
Oscar: That sounds like a great, wonderful idea. Let’s do that.
Photo with 47 notes
Photo reblogged from Awesomeness Abounds with 282 notes
Quote with 14 notes
Jan Levinson-Gould: Sports metaphors are one of the ways women feel left out of the language of the office. Now, I know this might sound silly, but many women ask to go over it. So, fumble means…
Jan Levinson-Gould: Right. Par for the course is a golf term. It means right on track. Uh, below par means worse. Wait, that should mean better. That doesn’t make sense.
Kelly Kapoor: What about second base? Like, if Michael said he got to second base with you? Does that mean you, like, closed a deal?
Jan Levinson-Gould: Excuse me?
Kelly Kapoor: I mean, that’s a baseball term, right?
Jan Levinson-Gould: I don’t know what… Michael was… talking about, I don’t know.
Kelly Kapoor: [turns to the camera and winks]
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